The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
