he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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