Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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