I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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