Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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