I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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