I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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