you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
