i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
