there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
