You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
