No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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