But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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