he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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