Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize