I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
