So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Ladies don't puke and tell
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
