I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
