its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
