toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
