then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I believe in your delicious
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
