PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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