This is not my ceiling
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
