hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
