didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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