woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
