just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
