she was so not down for the gang bang
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
