Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He did a backflip because drugs
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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