ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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