im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
