We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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