i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
