i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
