I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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