So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
