Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
