Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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