it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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