I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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