I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
