i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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