Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize