Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
