Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
