I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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