This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
