i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I didn't shave. On purpose
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
