I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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