grandma shit on top of the toilet
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
