If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
