just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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