I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
