did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
