i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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