so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
