i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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