Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
