people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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