So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
