If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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